‘Twas the night before Gun Confiscation

I wish I could take credit for the following poem, but alas, it’s not mine.  This Christmas Eve, I give you an ode to the Gun Control Lobby, written by a fellow firearms enthusiast.  Enjoy!

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the village,
the guns were all locked up they’re not a right but a privilege.
The crack heads and thieves all danced in the street,
In hopes that unarmed victims they would soon meet.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of escaping socialism danced in their heads.
the wife in the buff, and I in my tin foil hat,
Had just settled down for a long winters nap.

When behind the 2×4 deck there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what’s the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
pulled down the blast shield, unlocked the bars, and peered out the sash.

The moon on the hood of the black SUV,
gave me the feeling antis where coming for me.
More rapid then eagles they kicked down the door,
traumatized my kids and pushed the wife to the floor.

Now, Miller! Now, Cukier! Now Duceppe and McGuinty!
On Soros, on Layton, on Obama, and Iggy.
From the guns in the safe to the gold hidden in the wall,
they confiscated, confiscated, confiscated all.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
my freedoms were stolen in the blink of an eye.
But then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
the prancing and pawing, possibly a reindeer hoof.

Just as the socialists were beating me down,
from the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, and well armed what a hoot,
behind him the Nuge and Chuck Norris to boot.

His eyes how they twinkled while racking his slide,
the grabbers were left with nowhere to hide.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
the smoke from his guns circled his head like a wreath.

Duceppe became teary and soiled his clothes,
as St. Nick pointed his colt at the bridge of his nose.
He spoke not a word as he went about his work,
slapping the stupid out of Count Iggy the jerk.

His droll little mouth drawn up like a bow,
as he held Layton’s face in yellow snow.
McGuinty and Soros both danced to the beat,
as the Nuge used his pistols to shoot at their feet.

Up snuck Obama and swung his peace prize,
but got gored by a reindeer of extra large size.
Hillary Clinton did hiss and shake fist,
Hoe Hoe Hoe pointed Santa your next on this list.

Now Mayor Miller tried running but got it worst of them all,
as Santa did slough foot him causing a fall.
Out came his footing and on some ice he did slide,
right into a flag pole, one leg on each side.

Wendy got tazed by this jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw this in spite of myself.
His cheeks were like roses when he gave back our guns,
the antis and socialists had no choice but to run.

Now our stockings are stuffed with primers and brass,
CCW permits and a rifle range pass.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all keep up the fight.

10 responses to “‘Twas the night before Gun Confiscation

  1. The Center Square

    I have never understood the attacks against Obama for his “gun confiscation” plans. I bet he can’t either. Who thinks he wants that, and why???


    • Obama may not personally be planning to confiscate people’s guns, but he’s laying the groundwork for others to do so. Canada is a perfect example of that. Since we had to start registering our long guns 8 years ago, thousands have been arbitrarily confiscated without compensation.

      The bottom line is this: gun control increases violent crime.

      “For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.”
      Thomas Jefferson

  2. The Center Square

    Really? Please do share the evidence of his plans.

    • Here’s what we know about Obama:
      – He supports gun control
      – He supports the “Assault Weapons” ban
      – He supports local gun bans
      – He supports the idea of firearms registration
      – He supports banning semi-automatic firearms
      – He supports the UN Small Arms Treaty
      – He is against concealed carry of a firearm
      – He “respects” the 2nd Amendment

      Firstly, history has shown us repeatedly, that a) bans don’t work (never have and never will), and b) they are usually suggested based on ignorance and/or irrational fears. So straight off the top, we know that Obama is neither a student of history, nor rational and knowledgeable when it comes to the topic of guns. This is backed up by his support for banning “assault weapons” and semi-automatics. A person killed with a single shot bolt action rifle is no less dead than a person killed with a fully automatic rifle, so why is one firearm somehow worse than the other? If you’d like to argue that Obama does in fact understand what he’s talking about in this regard, then you would have to concede that he’s purposefully employing the “divide and conquer” technique. Knowing full well that he can’t simply ban firearms outright, he’s copying the Canadian and Australian models and chipping away a little bit at a time.

      Secondly, in order to ban something, you need to know where it is. After all, there’s no point in banning an object if half the population already owns it! This is where his support for registration comes into play. Once a government body knows where all the “bad” types of guns are, they can easily go and round them up. Again, this is evidenced by what has been happening here in Canada, and has also been ongoing in the UK and Australia for decades.

      As far as I’m aware his only “plan” at this stage is to renew the assault weapons ban, and to continue to support the UN Small Arms Treaty. In case you’re unaware, this is one of many treaties through which the UN (with organizations like IANSA) is seeking complete global civilian disarmament. Their goal is to see that only police and military personnel are armed – something of a global police state with the UN at the helm.

      So, to repeat what I said in my previous reply, Obama may not be personally planning any gun confiscations, but he definitely supports the idea of it, and he definitely supports the UN who is actively pushing for it. He himself may never order any confiscations, but if he continues to support the UN and doesn’t change his stance on gun control, he’s setting the stage for a successor to do so. Clear things up any?

    • Oh, and welcome, btw! 🙂

      Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog. I always enjoy debating issues and rethinking my positions.

  3. Obama being the President sure seems to enjoy having people around him that are anti-gun in nature.

    What was it President Obama said? Something about who he surrounds himself with?

    Something about bitter people clinging to guns and bibles?

    A Secretary of State that is signing onto global gun treaties and some such?

    I suppose if President Obama wanted to show sincerity about not being anti-gun? He could start firing the lot of them and hire people that acknowledge, honour and respect ALL amendments of the Bill of Rights.

    That includes the Second Amendment.

    You know it? The one that guarantees the protection of all the other Amendments.

  4. The Center Square

    “Here’s what we know about Obama:
    – He supports gun control
    – He supports the “Assault Weapons” ban
    – He supports local gun bans
    – He supports the idea of firearms registration
    – He supports banning semi-automatic firearms
    – He supports the UN Small Arms Treaty
    – He is against concealed carry of a firearm
    – He “respects” the 2nd Amendment”

    How do you know these things?

    • Are you asking how do I know or what are my sources? If it’s the former, that’ll take us on a rather fun tangent into the land of philosophy and questions of how can we actually know anything. If it’s the latter, all are a matter of public record from interviews, speeches or based on his voting record as a state legislator and senator.

  5. The Center Square

    I do think it should be pointed out that neither presidential candidate Obama nor President Obama made any significant pronouncements on gun control. There is every reason to think this issue is unimportant to his presidency.

    In his state legislature days, he clearly was an advocate of gun registration type policies. He has stated on many occasions that he fully supports the personal, constitutional right to bear arms, but also that he believes it can be successfully reconciled with the public’s interest in reasonable safeguards.

    IMO, there is no basis whatsoever for anyone believing that a radical attack on this constitutional right is forthcoming from this president.


  6. Read up on Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Then observe the similarities between him and President Obama.

    Much the same person in many ways.

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