Family law is unfair you say?


I read with interest the story of Alison Shaw in today’s issue of The Star.  After joking in an email that her marital problems could be solved with a gun, Ms Shaw was arrested, jailed overnight, forced out of her home, and ordered to stay away from her three children.

The cries of “overreaction” regarding this case can be heard for miles.  I say: it’s about bloody time.  If more women had to experience the judicial atrocities that men have been subjected to for decades, then maybe…just maybe…our horribly gender-biased family courts would finally be overhauled.

In today’s world of divorce and blended families, fathers have been reduced to ATM Status in the lives of their children.  They are villified and portrayed as unfit parents, and even as abusers and sex offenders “waiting to happen”.  They have no recourse against ex-wives who actively attempt to alienate them from their children (known as Malicious Mother Syndrome).  They often have to deal with slander and false accusations, which, even if disproved, will usually follow them for years.  While they have the option of civil court as recourse to the latter two issues, they are often emotionally and financially bankrupted by the divorce and child support proceedings, making a civil suit virtually impossible to pursue.

Going back to Ms Shaw’s case: while it is refreshing to see the shoe on the other foot for once, she still got off lightly.  She was released on bail and has since been granted 50/50 access to her children.  Had it been a man who had joked about shooting his wife, bail would have been set significantly higher.  As for 50/50 access to the children – don’t make me laugh.  He would be lucky to see them at all, let alone have any shared access rights.

Men’s rights groups have been screaming about the inequalities and bias in our family courts for years without success.  Why does it take a woman being subjected to the same laws for the courts to finally realize that something needs to change?

The militant feminist groups who preach “equality”, (but who are truly seeking “superiority”) have, unfortunately, succeeded in shaping our family court laws.  They have succeeded in emasculating men, and, as a result, society as a whole.  The venom and hatred these groups direct towards honest men under the guise of “equality” and “human rights” is disgusting.  The actions of these groups, and of women who think nothing of manipulating the courts in order to destroy their ex-husbands, make me ashamed to share their gender. 

I hope to see many, many more stories like Ms Shaw’s in the future.  Because the more women who are “victimized” by these laws, the sooner they will change.  I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to live in a world where men are nothing more than sperm donors and bank accounts.

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8 responses to “Family law is unfair you say?

  1. Good one. Thanks for that!

  2. As the mother of a man caught up in the vicious and completely biased family court system I say amen to everything in this post except the part about being glad the shoe is on the other foot. I am sorry for anyone who would fall victim to such an obvious over-reaction.
    I want the courts to do what they say they do but don’t. I want them to rule in family court as if what is best for the child is paramount. I want them to stop paying attention to “rights” of one parent or the other as if a child where chattel and not a precious gift too often irreparably damaged by the very system that professes to protect them. I want the courts to punish parents, men or women, who lie about the actions of their ex’s in order to get what they want. I want DSS to care when a child is emotionally abused just as much as they do when a child is physically or sexually abused. I want the courts to keep their finger on the pulse of the family and how the children in that family are doing after the legal proceedings are over.
    I also want the court system to make it possible for parents to represent themselves in family court by making available down loadable forms and instructions on filing them so that those of us who have been bankrupted by the legal process can still be heard. Last but far from least, I want the courts to hurry up the process. A child caught in a battle royal between warring parents is a child in distress. The faster the courts move the quicker that child can find some hope of peace.

    • Great points, Shelley. Thanks for commenting. I also would like to see a day when the family courts are fair and unbalanced. Unfortunately, I think the only way to force a change is for more women to be “victims” of the current laws. In our society these days it seems that the opinions and hardships of women carry much more weight than those of men. I agree though, that nobody should ever have to be unfairly punished under our current system.

  3. My boyfriend (who is a wonderful father) has been in family court for over a year now! His ex partner who barely ever seens her child and does not abide by the court ordered visits does not even show up for court dates. She has shown up for maybe 3 out of like 10! It is unfair that my boyfriend shows up for every court date and they keep letting this woman away with so much. If my boyfriend missed one court date I am sure it would not be the same way! A little frustrating!

  4. There are several laws that put together become a deadly cocktail for families. One of the biggest atrocities in family law is VAWA. The Violence against women act. After VAWA was passed in 1995 millions of men have been losing access to their children. These are mostly men that want to see their kids. VAWA supplies federal funds to womens groups designed to help women in cases of domestic violence, which on the outside sounds great. This law doesn’t give any money to men that are victims of abuse there is no federal program or act or law for that. 1st unconstitutional provision, there is NO EQUAL PROTECTION under the law, so this “law” is illegal. The law is gender biased. Now using that funding, every cheating, lying woman (not men) get several things. When I woman accuses a man of domestic violence she gets help in a lot of ways… She gets free legal advice from womens advocates, they tell the women which words to use in court, how to take things out of context and in many cases tell them to lie to asure a conviction. In district and civil court the accuser is given 51% of the weight of the evidence. In Nearly 70% of domestic violence convictions there is no evidence or little evidence of violence. Example no bruises marks or witnesses, or a bruise on the shin… Now using just the words of 1 person, the defendant can bring in witnesses saying the he wasn’t there, can prove he wasn’t there, can prove he did not commit any assualt, and can prove she is lying. (what happened to innocent until proven guilty?) This doesn’t matter because the weight of the evidence is 51% in favor of the accuser… (remember the statue of justice with the scales and the blindfold? Well the blindfold has been removed and the scales are tipped.) This is illegal there is no DUE PROCESS. By now if you are a man you have been convicted of domestic violence, even if you were 2000 miles away during the “Assault”. Also, she slaps you with a Domestic Violence Restraining order, which automatically get signed before they let you out of jail. They will not let you out of jail without signing it. In this process she gets a checklist of things she wants that are yours, they usually take everything you own, the car, house and kids, they can’t take tools of the trade and toiletries. (illegal someone cannot take your private property) The next week you are in court again for your temporary custody hearing, you appeal the conviction on Domestic Violence but still she is allowed to submit the findings from the domestic violence case. The judge looks at you like you are a monster. They restraining order allows the judge to decide that she doesn’t have to pickup or drop off the kids, so it is easier for the judge to come to a decision to not allow you to see your children. Now she goes for the full blown restraining order after already getting a temp one and she wins the temp custody, and has the conviction in domestic court. Keep in mind only about a week to month has gone by… You now lost everything, then she carries this over into divorce court, with all the ammunition she has on you she goes for broke, makes up 10 times more lies and about half of them stick. Then she takes the divorce findings i.e you have a history of violence and during the marriage had a pillow fight in which you assualted her with a pillow, they would never mention that even if she hit you with the pillow first that she has a history of domestic violence because she hit you with a pillow or used to punch you in the face while you were sleeping, or hit you in the groin while sleeping, cheated on you on a daily basis….

    The shame of the matter is that women don’t have to do any of this to get the 80%-20% default custody they are usually given, this is sad. So after getting the transcipts from the 4 or 5 hearings along with her statements to police and the 911 tape, then bring in your witnesses for the appeal finally and the DA drops the case the criminal charges get dropped but by now you are broke, you can see your kids but cannot afford to go back to court to get any decent visitation or custody.

    The side effects… It is more likely that children are killed or abused by their mothers. Mother’s not realizing what they are being talked into follow the process all the way along and end up getting the kids so much of the time that they have no time for themselves… They become paranoid after losing in real court, not the kangaroo courts of the district and civil courts. Why would they become paranoid? Because now you have evidence that they “committed perjury, filed false police reports, filed false insurance claims when the went to the hospital lying about getting attacked” the funny thing is that the kangaroo courts will not look at any medical findings by the doctor, they just look at the simple fact that the woman went to the doctor/emergency room. Now armed with all this information you go and try to get her busted for lying… no one will persue it, no lawyer, no cop, no one!

    Now the children growing up with just their mom… are 800 times more likely to be abused, drop out of school, do drugs, become a teenage parent themsleves…

    compared to what you ask? compared to 50%-50% “Shared Parenting” split custody. Compared to children whos parents remained married. Children of single mothers are automatically at a huge disadvantage.

    What’s the outcome? The outcome is that 4000 children per day in this country lose access to their fathers. Over 1 million men a year are convicted in district and civil courts, in which later the charges are dropped due to lack of evidence in criminal proceedings…All these huge expenses, lies, and pandering to a person because they are a certain sex… All the stress and trials and tribulations for what??? So kids can get hurt? No because if children getting abused was a factor then this wouldn’t happen. This is just to drag out money from taxpayers and direct the money to lawyers and non-profit feminist organizations, they should all be ashamed…

    Here are some resources if you are a man and find yourself in this situation…

    http://www.mediaradar.org/press_release_20070129.php

    http://www.acfc.org

    sign the shared parenting petition please…

  5. I just want to say that I disagree, at least with my judge’s actions. My ex-boyfriend has been on and off drugs since our 2 year old was born and we also have a 1-year-old. He has chosen to not be a father all of this time yet turned it around on me. After he stole from me, the last time, I went and filed for custody/support. The judge lectured me on that I need to stop bickering with him and need to learn to let go and let him have the kids. No drug tests. Nothing, except his 2 nights over night parenting time a week for a guy who has never hardly even watched his children and has literally seen his 1 year old maybe 10 times in a year, most of which were short visits. The judge said he sees mothers do this all the time where they don’t want the father to be involved when I have gone more than out of my way to help him get his life on track and be around his kids more, as he lived at his parents and I live at mine.

  6. This family law inequality is a really challenging problem to solve. Men by nature are either born or socialized to compete with other men. Furthermore men like to see themselves as being empowered so unless they have gone through a similar experience they are more likely to criticize other men who complain about being powerless in the system rather than to empathize with them. Women whether by nature or nurture are more likely to sympathize with other women in the same plight. This is a deep rooted societal bias. As a litmus test consider that for movies to show one man beating the hell out of a weaker man doesn’t necessarily garner a warning of graphic violence, but show a stronger man beating the hell out of a woman weaker than him (who might have been much stronger than the weaker man) and you get a very different result. It makes everyone in the audience cringe. Men are expected to absorb any beating life gives them and eventually win by fighting through it. The black comedy here is this is that men are at the same time being emasculated by family law courts who act as if the only legitimate emotional response to injustice is crying or emotional outbursts rather than getting angry. Anger is an emotion not an action or threat of action.

    Then after all that there are the corrupt lawyers who use the biases of the system to destroy children’s childhoods. Having mentioned that, if you have any experience with the misconduct of family law lawyer Lorna Yates you can address it here: http://lornamyates.wordpress.com

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